Thoughts- Week 4
“A lot of times people look at the negative side of what they feel they can't do. I always look on the positive side of what I can do.”
- Chuck Norris American martial artist, actor, and cultural icon
Negative self-talk can make negative thoughts feel stronger and more believable. Not sure whether your self-talk is positive or negative? The following common forms of negative self-talk are adapted from the Mayo Clinic: https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/positive-thinking/art-20043950.
Filtering. You magnify the negative aspects of a situation and filter out all the positive ones. For example, you had a great day at work. You completed your tasks ahead of time and were complimented for doing a speedy and thorough job. That evening, you focus only on your plan to do even more tasks and forget about the compliments you received.
Personalizing. When something bad occurs, you automatically blame yourself. For example, you hear that an evening out with friends is canceled, and you assume that the change in plans is because no one wanted to be around you.
Catastrophizing. You automatically anticipate the worst without facts that the worse will happen. The drive-through coffee shop gets your order wrong, and then you think that the rest of your day will be a disaster.
Blaming. You try to say someone else is responsible for what happened to you instead of yourself. You avoid being responsible for your thoughts and feelings.
Saying you "should" do something. You think of all the things you think you should do and blame yourself for not doing them.
Magnifying. You make a big deal out of minor problems.
Perfectionism. Keeping impossible standards and trying to be more perfect sets yourself up for failure.
Polarizing. You see things only as either good or bad. There is no middle ground.
Do you see yourself in any of these patterns? Self-awareness is the first step toward changing behavior. This week, write in a journal whenever you notice yourself falling into one of these negative self-talk traps. According to Dr. Ethan Kross, author of Chatter, using your first name or the pronoun “you” in self-talk can help shift the voice in your head. It can feel as though you are speaking to someone else, perhaps a good friend.